The Connection Addiction

I often leverage science, specifically neuroscience, to propel performance in the world of client communications and sales.

For example, there has been a lot of research in the field of addiction, that is changing the way scientists are looking at alcoholism and addiction treatment. For a long time, addiction has been thought to be purely chemical in nature. Your body chemistry would produce endorphins and other pleasure hormones in reaction to a chemical reaction caused by the addiction subject (alcohol, gambling, drugs, whatever), and then hijack the brain to get more of the same stimulus. This belief came from a repeated number of studies using rats in cages being offered two water sources, clean water or water laced with heroin or another drug. Over and over again, the rat in the cage would choose the water with drugs over the clean water. Different drugs and doses would be tested.

Then another scientist approached the problem differently, because he noticed that the commonality of all the experiments was that the rat was living in a boring blank cage, all by itself with no other rats. He wondered what would happen if instead of changing the drug, you changed the environment. Specifically, he asked, “What if the rat was not alone? What if the cage wasn’t barren and boring?” What came out of that study shocked the researchers. When the rat was connected to other rats, or to activities it enjoyed (better environment w toys in the cage), it almost always went for the clean water. It did not seek or need connection with a substance, because it was connected to the environment (objects or beings) around it.

In other words, addiction might be more about connection, and lack of it. Humans and many other animals crave connection and belonging, the science on that is commonly accepted. We need and crave a connection with a community or an activity, or both. Hence, when we do not get that, we will seek it from a substance. Addiction is actually swapping out human connections, community connections, for a substance.

Interesting on its own, for sure, but also highly applicable to a client interaction, sales or service based. Why? Because we often treat customers or prospects like they are on an island by themselves. We make buying equivalent to going out on their own in a decision. A decision that could leave them exposed, and lonely. Seems like a lot, I know, but imagine that I work in procurement and you are pitching me to change to you for my widget orders. The current status or buying those from the current vendor is the communal status quo. I take the risk of endangering my connection to that community by making a change. I might get disconnected from them if the change doesn’t work out (what tribal society would call “shunning”). The risk is on ME.

I know, I know, makes very little logical sense, but I remind you, modern day decisions are not much about logic, and much more about the baseline need to avoid pain that our primal brain is still running us on.

It is called the Lizard Brain 

OK, so let’s talk tactic, and show a practical application of this concept.

– When you are doing a discovery with a client, and trying to get them to admit to a pain/problem that your solution(s) solve, it’s easy to put them on an Island of pain. No one wants to admit their status quo isn’t good, certainly not by themselves. Instead of isolating them, watch how easy it is to CONNECT them to the community around the problem.