When pursuing sales success, most people think influence stems from authority.
Wear a suit. Slap a title on your LinkedIn. Get a blue checkmark. Boom—people will listen and buy from you.
Right?
Not quite.
Authority might get you in the door, but it won’t make people care. If they are going to buy, they need to care. True influence—the kind that actually changes minds and moves people—is not about shouting louder from a pedestal. It’s about mastering two seemingly opposing forces:
Conviction in your position
AND
Genuine curiosity about others.
Sounds like a contradiction? Stick with me.
1. Conviction: The Anchor That Grounds You
Conviction isn’t about being loud or stubborn. It’s about clarity. Confidence. A deep internal alignment with what you believe and why you believe it.
When you speak from a place of conviction, people feel it. They’re drawn in—not because you’re bossy or bulldozing—but because there’s something real in your words. You’re not faking it. You’re not hedging your bets. You’ve done the thinking, the reflecting, the wrestling with doubt—and you’ve landed somewhere solid.
But here’s where most people mess up: they confuse conviction with rigidity.
Which brings us to the second force.
2. Curiosity: The Bridge That Connects You
If conviction is the anchor, curiosity is the sail.
It propels conversations forward. It invites others in. It says, “I believe what I believe—but I want to understand where you’re coming from too.”
Genuine curiosity is rare, and people sense it instantly. It disarms. It builds trust. It tells others: “I see you. I respect you. Even if we disagree, I want to get you.”
And that’s where the real magic happens—because influence isn’t about domination. It’s about resonance. When someone feels seen and understood, they become far more open to what you have to say. Deep down, being heard makes it safe to listen.
3. The Tension Is the Point
Most people live on one end of the spectrum.
They’re either:
- So obsessed with being “open-minded” that they have no spine, or
- So fixed in their beliefs they treat every conversation like a battlefield.
Influential people do neither. They live in “the tension”.
They know what they stand for. But they’re still open. Curious. Willing to learn. Willing to shift—not their core truths, but their understanding of others.
This duality is powerful. Conviction gives your words weight. Curiosity gives them reach.
Together, they create something rare: respected influence.
Don’t just lean on authority to get people to buy. That’s a form of bullying. But avoiding being a bully doesn’t mean being a washcloth.
1) Stand firm in what you believe.
2) Stay endlessly curious about what others believe.
3) Watch your influence multiply.